I hear this all the time….”I just want you to show up on my wedding day and make sure everything goes smoothly so I don’t have to.” And sometimes, “You can use my timeline that I already prepared of what I want to happen.” No, thank you. These are not realistic expectations to set. There is a mis-understood job out there: the Day-of Coordinator. I have been doing this for 30 years and can simply say, this job title does not exist. Here’s the reality of what you really want to pay for:
First, in order to “show up” and “make it happen” we have to know exactly what is supposed to happen which takes some level of advance preparation. That kind of homework takes hours to study the vendors, contracts and expectations of each. Then we study a non-professional timeline, written by someone who has never done this before, and put it into a format that we are familiar with so that we can reference it urgently and swiftly on the wedding day.
Second, have you ever tried to manage a team you’ve never even talked with? I wouldn’t do it. Managing a team on your wedding day takes relationship building, discussions on expectations in advance, cooperation, timeline review and revisions. It is vital so that everyone is working seamlessly and cooperatively. There can be no silos. One vendors needs may directly affect another vendor. This team needs to operate from the same guidebook, with the same goals, under one leader and that takes advance preparation.
Lastly, how many weddings have you planned? Hopefully this is the only one. You are a novice, learning. Remember the first time you tried to drive a car? A little jerky? A few dents? A train wreck? I remember the first time I went grocery shopping and proudly brought home a box of macaroni and cheese. I forgot the butter. Is this the kind of learning curve you want on your wedding day? You get one day, you want it perfect. Asking a “day of” coordinator to show up and work magic with your untrained timeline and seating chart just screams chaos.
Advance planning and expert guidance are vital, not a luxury. You might be concerned about the cost of hiring a wedding manager or wedding planner, but imagine the cost of hiring a random photographer who doesn’t show up, or the cost of a misaligned seating chart sending all of your guests to the wrong table (both true stories…). Stop asking for a “day of coordinator” and start asking for a “wedding manager” or “wedding planner”, both are different packages and price points but both include involvement in advance to assure you have your best day ever. Welcome this person’s guidance early on and lean on her to make your vision a professionally planned dream.
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